Who Knows.

How does it feel like when you never know who you’re going to be the next moment? When you just can’t know who you are? When you just can’t know what you’re suppose to do? All you’re able to do is look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at how fucked up you are. When there’s no one encumbering your way but YOU.  You lie to yourself, saying that it’s okay just for another day to pass.

A day comes when you wake the fuck up and realize that something’s missing. Of course, you can’t put your  finger on it and tell what’s missing. You tell yourself to value what you have and not to grief over whatever’s missing. But you’re not able to hold yourself together. There’s this part of you which keeps laughing at you at what you’ve become. You grow weary and want to quit. But quitting isn’t the solution, is it? It never is. You can run a thousand miles and hope for everything to be okay but it’ll never be.

Off all the things you try to escape, the most formidable task is to escape from yourself. You run away thinking that it’ll be okay but as the paths of life unfold, you realize that you’re trying to run away from yourself. From that one demon that’s aboding right inside you. You can run away and try to find that peace of mind but you’ll never be able to. For that demon lives with you. Within you. It doesn’t make a difference whether you’re amongst the crowd or deep down in the depths of abyss; you’re never at peace.

Who knows what to do then? Who knows?